2. The prairie of childhood. 

During my childhood, we traveled through different regions of the prairie; and in those years, I discovered unique places where I interacted with various weird bugs of every species imaginable. I liked traveling with my family, although sometimes we went to places where they spoke languages I didn’t know, and this was not so much fun. Yet I was a quick learner, so soon, I made myself understood and could make new friends to play with. 

Then school days came, and though I didn’t like school very much at first because it made me nervous, I quickly got used to it, and I loved learning new things every day. Besides, while I was there with my classmates and teachers, I had some rest from my brother, who was still too young to come with me and had to stay in the nest with our Mom until he started going to kindergarten to play with little bugs his age. 

For a couple of years, my life went easy and happy until one day, our nest grownups began to talk about a move. We would live in a region south of the prairie called Patagonia. 

They were all excited about this plan, and so was I. But I was also worried about separating from my grandmother, who lived near our nest and would not move south with us. Neither did I fancy the idea of changing schools and leaving my friends behind. 

But they all had promised to visit me in my new home, and my parents also promised to bring us back to our old nest during the school holidays. They assured me my life would be much more amusing in our new place since my brother and I would enjoy greater freedom. And I believed them because they all described that southern place as paradise.

One summer, we visited the place where my parents would build our new nest, and it was spectacular! So when the time finally came for us to move there, I was both happy and sad. It was true that that place was much better than the previous one, and there I could ski and fish, two of my favorite hobbies. But on the other hand, I didn’t want to leave behind my grandmother, my friends, and my old school. 

We moved at the end of the summer, a few days before school started, and I could have never imagined I would be so happy that my younger brother started coming to school with me just that year. And yet, that’s how I felt: I didn’t feel so alone with him by my side, among all those strangers.

Shortly after we moved, relatives and friends from our old nest began to visit us, and little by little, I became used to my new home.

Behind the new nest, we had a vast garden, which soon I knew better than anyone. There was a stream with fish in it, and in my neighborhood, I could ride my bike with my friends, climb trees, and play, play, and play until we got bored. 

But I was growing up, and my parents gave me more and more chores to help around the house, and I didn’t like that as much. Although I knew they asked me to collaborate for my good so that I would learn to be responsible and self-sufficient, They used to repeat that soon, I too would be an adult and would have to take care of myself. 

In this new home, the arrival of several new members of the family took place. Our beautiful and intelligent puppy, whom we all loved from day one, was the first to arrive. We named her Modesty. 

Then, some cats arrived but stayed shortly, as they didn’t get along well with our neighbors’ dogs. Finally, two sister kittens came to stay. 

Many birds also came and went, but they lived free in our garden or the surroundings and visited us regularly. 

And, when I least expected it, not one, but TWO EGGS appeared in our new nest!!! 

Once again, everyone was happy with the great event. But I, who had already gone through that before and now knew very well what this implied, wasn’t so convinced that the arrival of two little bugs like my younger brother was something to be so thrilled about…

In any case, their arrival was a fact, and like the previous time, it was best to try to see the positive side of the matter.

However, it was more difficult for me this time. My parents’ “small jobs», homework, and the music lessons, were already enough work for me. I didn’t need to add more things to my daily list, like changing diapers, giving bottles, and babysitting my new siblings!

My witch aunt tried to reassure me by saying that I wouldn’t have to do any of it, that the baby bugs were my parents’ responsibility and not mine.

But what did she know? She didn’t live with us and only came to see us occasionally. 

The eggs cracked prematurely, so my parents rushed them to the hospital while my younger brother and I stayed with our carpenter uncle, who was just visiting us.

The babies were born too small, and we could not look after them in the nest.

When they took my younger brother and me to meet our new siblings, they were in a special room and we just saw them through a glass wall. They were so tiny, they looked like toy dolls! But they had a thin hose getting into their noses and seemed helpless. Seeing them so small and vulnerable, I felt sorry for them and wanted to protect them, and then I knew that I already loved them.

I was also worried for my Mom because when I saw her, she seemed to be sick. But since my brother was also scared, I tried to calm him down, just like Daddy tried to calm me down -even though I knew he was trying to hide his fears, too.

Despite the worry, we were all happy about the arrival of the twins, and very soon, the day came to bring them home. That day, my grandmother also came to visit, and although I felt too many contrasting emotions, I was happy that my new baby brother and sister were finally in the nest with us. 

Ah, but life has never been the same since then! Too many things were happening simultaneously, and I felt that not only my external world was transforming. Significant changes were also taking place inside me that I couldn’t understand or control.

Life had taken such a speed that I could not find the necessary time or tranquility to reflect on all these changes and order my ideas. In addition, with the babies’ arrival, my parents, although happy, were always tired and had little patience, and I felt they had almost no time left to pay much attention to me. 

Fortunately, my other grandmother soon came to stay for a long time, and along with her, my witch aunt also came, although she only stayed with us for a couple of days.

However, seeing that I was a bit tense, my aunt taught me some magic tricks to help me relax. And though while I did them with her, they seemed to work, once she left, I stopped practicing them that often. So, I was generally nervous and irritable.

Thank Goodness, my violin made me feel much better! 

The changes that were taking place inside me did not let up, and my mind felt like a roller coaster of emotions. One minute, I was thrilled, and the next minute, the most insignificant thing in the world could put me in such a bad mood that life became unbearable. Then, without knowing how or why, my lousy temper vanished, and I was well and happy again.

Other times, anger would take over me, and no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it, instead of going away, it would turn into an uncontrollable rage that left me exhausted and depressed. 

To make matters worse, it seemed that, instead of understanding me, my parents made fun of me, or scolded me unfairly many times, and I hated them when they did that! 

Well, it seemed that the carefree and joyous life in my childhood prairie was gone forever, and I felt alone and confused, as if lost in a dark forest without finding a path that would lead me back to the sunlight. The only thing that relieved me on those days was the company of my friends, for only they seemed to understand and remain loyal to me. 

Adults told me that I was already entering the Forest of Adolescence, but I didn’t know what they meant by that. I needed more and more of my own space and quiet to think, so I began wandering alone in the confines of the prairie, trying to collect my thoughts and get away from my parents’ mistreatment. Although they assured me they still loved me, they didn’t show it often, or at least I didn’t perceive it. 

Most of the time, everything was fine between my parents and me, and we were as happy as we used to be. But just as the warm days in the fall became increasingly rare, so the sunny days in the nest became less and less frequent, and most of the time, what I wanted most was to grow wings like those of adult bugs and fly as far as possible from the nest and be free. 

In those cold days of my adolescence, as the adults called it, I sought the solitude of the most remote corners of the prairie. Thus, I discovered that contrary to what I had always believed, it was not infinite but was surrounded by limits I sensed, sooner or later, I would have to cross. 

But how could I overcome them without having wings to fly over them? 

One day, after arguing with my parents, I walked away, thinking about how to grow my wings and be free. I wandered for a long time towards the forest, trying to find the answer to that dilemma in my mind, but everything seemed to be a useless effort.

I felt like a prisoner in that prairie, condemned to continue putting up with my parents for the rest of my life! 

Exhausted and frustrated, I sat under a tree and tried to reflect. But once again, the anger began to take over me, and I felt like the anguish was tying a lump in my throat. I tried to free myself of these ominous emotions by taking deep breaths and struggling not to get carried away by the negative thoughts that invaded my mind. But it didn’t seem to work as I suddenly felt my eyes well up with tears. 

I tried even harder to control myself, but all my efforts were in vain, and I couldn’t stop crying anymore. So, since I couldn’t help but cry, I decided to take advantage of the fact that I was alone to vent completely, and I cried with all the desire I had been accumulating. I released my frustration by screaming: «I want wings to escape from here! I want to be free!» I yelled over and over again until I calmed down. 

When my crying finally stopped, and I felt more relaxed, I heard a little bird fluttering among the lower branches of the tree under which I was sitting. I looked up but couldn’t see it, so I stood and walked around the tree.

Even though I could hear the bird flapping its wings, I couldn’t see it. I went around again, and since I no longer heard anything, I thought it was just a gust of wind and decided to move away. 

I had just taken a couple of steps when I heard that something was definitely moving among the leaves right behind my head. I examined the tree again, still unable to discover anything, and once more, I thought about leaving. 

But as if it had guessed my intention, the little bird flapped its wings harder to make it clear that it wasn’t the wind! 

«Are we playing hide and seek?» I asked out loud. 

And to my great surprise, a lovely and feeble voice answered me: «Yes, and I’m not going to let you find me just like that! If you want to see me, you must prove you deserve that privilege.» 

At first, I thought I was dreaming because after crying my heart out, I usually feel so tired that I often fall fast asleep. Therefore, it was very possible that I had fallen asleep under the tree and that this strange situation was just a dream. 

Anyway, I wanted to see that little bird that could talk. So, after going around the tree a few more times without discovering it, I decided to climb up and look for it among the branches. 

As I ascended, I felt the flapping so close to my head that I couldn’t understand why I didn’t see it. I climbed higher and higher, but the fluttering was always a little higher, forcing me to keep going. That tree had not seemed so tall to me when I was on the ground! Yet now, the higher I climbed, the taller it got; as if it grew as I climbed its branches…

 Already tired and feeling that frustration was taking over me again, I sat down to rest, starting to doubt that it was worth so much effort just to see that silly, talkative bird that had fun teasing me. «I’m sure when I get to the top of this tree, that little demon will fly before I can see him,» I thought angrily. 

And as if reading my mind, the feeble voice said: «In this magical world, there are plenty of miracles and incredible treasures. But they are reserved only for those who do not give up easily and persevere in their goals without being defeated by fatigue or fear of failure. Are you one of them? Or are you already thinking about crying, getting angry at the injustices of this world, and going home without having discovered me?» he asked. 

I got furious with that devilish bird and was about to curse and leave without answering his question. But then I thought that if it were just a dream, it wouldn’t hurt to keep trying until I woke up … So, I straightened up again and continued to climb with renewed enthusiasm.

I used all the energy of my rage to climb without pause to the top of that immense tree, no longer motivated so much by the desire to see the talking bird but by the need to prove to myself that, indeed, I was capable of reaching my goals and defeating the tiredness and my bad mood.

Seeing my determination, I suspected the tree would stop growing and allow me to access its top. So it was! As soon as I quit thinking about giving up, the branches grew thinner, and soon, my body emerged victorious from among the highest leaves, with just the immeasurable blue afternoon sky above my head. 

For a moment, I completely forgot about the little bird. The sight that unfolded before my eyes from up there left me stunned and intrigued by what I had just discovered: 

In front of me, to the north, an immense forest, to which I could not see the end, stretched out like a green sea of treetops that extended like waves to the horizon. 

To the east, the forest grew lower and lower, and sparse shrubs gradually replaced the trees until they faded in some dunes, flattening towards a wide beach bordering a beautiful ocean.

I noticed that, like the forest, the prairie of my childhood also turned into the beach that died in the sea.

The forest and prairie extended to the west to a high mountain range. Yet as my prairie reached these mountains undulating in gentle hills, the forest and the mountains were divided by a dense jungle to the northwest and a great desert of arid steppes to the southwest.

But when I turned to see what was to the south of my childhood prairie, what I saw caught me so off guard and made me so dizzy that I had to hold on tight to the branches and sit down again to keep from falling to the ground.

To the south, my prairie ended in an infinite dark abyss!